Welcome to the home of Grey Horizon
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.


GREY HORIZON - A Raiding Guild on Tunare
 
HomeSearchLatest imagesRegisterLog in

Share
 

 Jildacey's everquest memorial

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
Go to page : 1, 2  Next
AuthorMessage
Ellmadar
Ellmadar
Member
Member

Posts : 145
Join date : 2012-02-15
Age : 60
Location : My computer

Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeSat Mar 24, 2012 4:15 am

Jildacey was a very special friend and member of two fellowships that Xyza and I were in. It seemed fitting that his present fellowship get the ball rolling and set up a memorial in everquest for him. It is located at 113 Brimming Way right outside Grey Horizon's guild hall. Jil loved his home in NC and so I modeled it as best I could on how he talked about it( minus the landmines). I added dogs and cats since he loved his animals so very much and it seemed fitting to see them there. I have made it possible for all Grey Horizon members to add an item that reminds them of Jil to either the house or land outside. We have taken care of any plat needed and right now its paid for for well over 5 years. As long as Xyza and I play we will continue to make sure it is funded and should we leave the game will make sure there i enough money in the account to cover the expenses so that, as long as there is an everquest Jil will be remembered. The house I have made into a gallery of all the box paintings of the expansions as well as a few things from VOA. Jil has played this game from the beginning and I thought it fitting. Already some weapons have been added that a dps berserker might enjoy. It is my hope that Grey will hold a time there for everyone to meet and talk about our "Just Do It" friend and cheerleader whom all of us came to love and appreciate.
Back to top Go down
Daura
Daura
Member
Member

Posts : 401
Join date : 2012-02-15

Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeSat Mar 24, 2012 5:29 am

If/when a memorial is to be held for Jildacey, I think there would be an excellent place...

I need to know if everyone would like me to organize it as I did for Freakbabydolls. I dont want to take that away from anyone else that might want to do it..but I am more than willing to get it set up and planned and executed.

We all loved him very much. I wonder if there is a way we could let his wife know how much he meant to us, and how much he loved his Grey Horizon and real life family.

God may have taken him home....but he will live on forever in our hearts...

Back to top Go down
Ellmadar
Ellmadar
Member
Member

Posts : 145
Join date : 2012-02-15
Age : 60
Location : My computer

Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeSat Mar 24, 2012 9:46 am

You did a great job on the other one Daura I think that would be great for you get set up a date. I would like to invite as many into vent as we can have becaue Jil used vent as much as just about anyone and we should include any members of Ah that want to come also.
Back to top Go down
Rosiecotton
Rosiecotton
Member
Member

Posts : 145
Join date : 2012-02-15
Location : Baltimore, MD

Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeSat Mar 24, 2012 11:43 am

Is there any chance we could do it on a weeknight? Weekends are crazy this time of year...
Back to top Go down
https://www.facebook.com/mhamill430
Ellmadar
Ellmadar
Member
Member

Posts : 145
Join date : 2012-02-15
Age : 60
Location : My computer

Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeSat Mar 24, 2012 2:43 pm

I was thinking before a raid or even at thte start of a raid night we just go over there as a group.
Back to top Go down
Ellmadar
Ellmadar
Member
Member

Posts : 145
Join date : 2012-02-15
Age : 60
Location : My computer

Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeSat Mar 24, 2012 8:27 pm

For those who might miss, Jil's memorial will be Wednesday March 28, 2012. We meet at regular raid time of 7pm est and have his memorial at 113 Brimming Way Maple Colonial Point(right outside new guild hall). Than we will kick some ass in his memory at raids.
Back to top Go down
Spinecrak
Spinecrak
Dark Savant

Posts : 75
Join date : 2012-02-15
Age : 39
Location : Grobb

Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeSat Mar 24, 2012 8:53 pm

I think Jil would have wanted it that way; to come together not to mourn and cry, but to celebrate the wonderful life that he led, and then to raise our swords, yell his name, and kick some ass.
Back to top Go down
Daura
Daura
Member
Member

Posts : 401
Join date : 2012-02-15

Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeSun Mar 25, 2012 10:45 am

AMEN! Lets Do it! Memorial is already prepared..now to make my blades gleam. Lets make him proud! Lets Dedicate Wednesdays raids to Jildacey!





Back to top Go down
Daura
Daura
Member
Member

Posts : 401
Join date : 2012-02-15

Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeSun Mar 25, 2012 10:47 am

Too bad we cannot access his account and hang his Epics on the wall.
Back to top Go down
Rosiecotton
Rosiecotton
Member
Member

Posts : 145
Join date : 2012-02-15
Location : Baltimore, MD

Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeSun Mar 25, 2012 12:12 pm

Could ask his wife to do it, didn't she just register for the boards?
Back to top Go down
https://www.facebook.com/mhamill430

Guest
Guest


Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeWed Mar 28, 2012 12:55 am

This is Jildacey's wife. I too have played since just after Beta but I take many LONG breaks, so most of you probably have not met me.

I cried when I read above what you have done to 'immortalize' Jildacey, or should I say, Mark, which was his real life name. I cannot thank you all enough. I just wish he were here to see this. My heart is full with gratefulness to you right now, especially to you, Ellmadar and Xyza. I know he thought a lot of you and I can see why.

I had to travel a 1000 miles back home so I am sorry that I have not posted till now. Took me 3 days and the last day has also been hectic.

I would love to come and see your 'memorial'. I will need 'directions' though because I have never seen the housing areas - been away for a few years now. As for plat required to maintain the memorial, I think eventually I can figure out how to log on Jildacey and he can help with the funding (if it cost plat, I imagine he has more than he needs, thanks to all his time with you all). I would contribute myself but I am always 'broke' - and still trying to get my oldest account back open. I imagine I will hang in the guildlobby a bit over the next few months at least - perhaps longer. I loved to raid (casually) but never had the ambition to get to endgame or acquire the best gear so, though I had many hours in EQ over the years, I had few levels.

Jildacey/Mark was only 60 years old - and this was such a senseless death. I loved him so deeply and he was my best friend for over 15 years. April 9th was to be our 6th wedding anniversary. Sigh. Unfortunately, he had demons (the loss of his 2 sons to this same nasty 'disease' of alcoholism, the 'disease' he had himself) but he did not want or mean to die. He was trying to come back to 'life' and unfortunately made a gross error in judgement in not contacting help fast enough. I, sadly, was not at his side due to a family emergency up north and since he didn't tell me all the truth about how badly he was doing - or didn't know it ... help arrived too late. Sad He was a wonderful man underneath the turmoil - and his blue eyes, smiles and hugs would always soothe me. He and I could finish each other's sentences. He was an engineer when he was employed - and his mind worked differently from mine, but somehow we meshed beautifully. I will miss him so much for the rest of my life, no matter what life ahead holds for me. He is a part of me forever - a true 'Chiasma' (which is one of my toons names in EQ, and I just changed the spelling to log in when FTP started up since I have forgotten my Chiasma account password and I wanted to just make sure Mark was ok on days we didn't talk due to his being, hate to say it, but it is too true, too inebriated to make sense. I needed to know he was ok - and he was .. till he wasn't those last couple of days when he was not there - he would have been if he could have been. He never knew Kyasma existed. Sad

I honestly wish he could have also weaned himself a bit from EQ so he and I could have had a few evenings or weekend afternoons together - but, if you took attendance records, you would know he was faithful in attendance (even if, as I know, he occasionally went LD - i.e. asleep at the switch) for almost every day in the past 13 years. But, because I also played and because I know that, in a sense, due to his problem, you were his 'community' more than anyone ever in life, save me, I, for the most part, let him have your company daily. And he loved being with you.

I will log my new toon Kyasma in in the next few days and say hello again if I may. Thank you all again. Take care of yourselves and your loved ones. I do not want this sort of thing to happen to anyone else, much less those who he cared about.

Sorry this is disjointed. I am coping but am not as brilliant as I usually am right now. Forgive me please. Hope to see some of you in game. Thanks again. He would be honoured! /bow

p.s. I guess I can't post my email address in case there was a need for anyone to write me - tried to post 2 but I see the post is rejected so if anyone wants it, let me know if you see me in game.
Back to top Go down

Guest
Guest


Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeWed Mar 28, 2012 3:03 am

My thoughts are with you and your family, hopefully things will look up in the future.
Back to top Go down
Ellmadar
Ellmadar
Member
Member

Posts : 145
Join date : 2012-02-15
Age : 60
Location : My computer

Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeWed Mar 28, 2012 11:56 am

Anytime you are ready to visit his in game memorial let me know it would be an honor to take you there.
Back to top Go down

Guest
Guest


Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeWed Mar 28, 2012 1:19 pm

Jildacey was a great person to be around, i want you to know that Kyasma. He ALWAYS had a positive attitude no matter what the situation was. And if people started to argue in vent or the guild chat channel, he would always something to get peoples mind of whatever the arguement was. Aside from Ellmadar and Xyza, myself (Shayden) and my husband Seratta hung out with him alot, we always did group missions, progression, or just hung out together. Sometimes he would just log into ventrilo just to talk which was some good conversations too. I know his passing shocked alot of people, i believe the 2 that it affected the most was Seratta and Xyza, because they were "the boys" in the fellowship and hung out alot..

We would like your mailing address so that we can send you some flowers. And if there is anything that you need, please feel free to send us a tell in game or message us, Seratta, Shayden, Ellmadar, Xyza.

We miss him!
Back to top Go down

Guest
Guest


Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeWed Mar 28, 2012 8:08 pm

Thank you all again. I knew my husband's personality well and often he would tell me what sort of happenings (the kind you talked about Shayden) were going on and how he did try to diffuse them when he could. Smile You may all have been a world away in geographical terms, but, many nights many of you lived here with us. lol Since I don't know whose voice belongs to who, although I heard them in the background so much, I can't identify you all but he could.

Mark was born a forces brat .. in Illinois, on an air base ... moved several times during his young life - to Germany, South Carolina, Massachusetts and finally to Texas - where he spent the next umpteen years till I captured him and brought him to North Carolina. He loved it here - on this property, in the mountains. But, the only people he knew here were a few neighbours and me to be honest - and you all (who are not here as far as I know). What little family he has left is still in Texas - as are all his 'ex-es' (if he sang that song to you he was not lying .. lol) ... except me and I don't consider myself his 'ex' and never will.

He is being cremated and there will be no formal service. His ashes however will be with me and we will finally take the travels we always wanted to - he needs to see my spirit home in the Yukon, dance under a true aurora borealis in the north, stand at the top of a mountain top again in Colorado, find out where his mother came from in New Brunswick, Canada - and a piece of him will be left in each place that was special to him - the remainder - the eyes, the smile and the hugging arms ... will stay with me for as long as I live.

At any rate, there will be very solemn (and joyful, both) mini-services along the way - probably with only me both officiating and attending - with wildflowers in my hand perhaps. So, thank you so much for your offer of flowers, but, the thought and caring about him is all he would have wanted.

I will tell you, I saw him for the last time today - and he looked quite good considering, which was wonderful. I got to kiss him goodbye and I told him about you all and your memorial. I am sure he is watching over you all. Smile

HUGS to you. I really cannot tell you what your posts and prayers/thoughts/stories mean to me - and I hope, over time, to hear more 'stories' if any come to mind. Smile
Back to top Go down

Guest
Guest


Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeWed Mar 28, 2012 8:24 pm

Be well in your travels my dear, we will think of you guys often.
Back to top Go down
Daura
Daura
Member
Member

Posts : 401
Join date : 2012-02-15

Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeWed Mar 28, 2012 8:43 pm

You are welcome here any time hon. Im so sorry for your loss, and ours. He was a wonderful man, and a true friend.
Back to top Go down

Guest
Guest


Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeWed Mar 28, 2012 8:59 pm

Jildacey. Where do I start? I have raided with him for many years. From Riders of the Apocalypse on Lany's, and then Forged Souls, and then Legend of Marr on Rathe and then to Grey Horizon on Tunare. We were friends. He was always around. He had a raid attendence greater than my work schedule. He was dependable and consoling. He will be missed.
Back to top Go down

Guest
Guest


Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeThu Mar 29, 2012 12:08 am

Aye, Rhayzer .. you and I have met too - Chiasma/Aery .. remember? Smile As his wife, I was not always so pleased that his attendance at raids was practically perfect - lol - but apparently it was a better draw than I was. I /slapped him upside the head with a wet trout a few times but loved him dearly anyway. I knew he 'behaved' in game (he couldn't type well enough to cyber so I was safe! Smile ) so that was a great comfort - and I know he took his good friends out here seriously. He was always concerned about others and that is the 'right thing to do' so I could not take that away from him.

Just had a talk with Shayden - thanks, Shay. Sorry if I talked your ear off. Also just now found out that the 'couple of people' who 'died recently' that Mark told me about, right before he spiralled into severe depression I think, right before he died, were probably Marty and Elisa, and their son. He would not tell me who died - just that they did - and I guessed it might have been some real life old friends in Texas - but I gather now I was wrong. I am soooo very sorry to hear about that tragedy - how horrendous - and even more so to know it is possibly connected to my husband's death too. Everyone PLEASE stay well and safe ... and HAPPY. They (Marty, Elisa and Mark) would all (as I do) want that for you and your families.
Back to top Go down
Daura
Daura
Member
Member

Posts : 401
Join date : 2012-02-15

Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeThu Mar 29, 2012 10:15 am

Kyasma,

You and I have never met, but I feel i know you already from the hours Jildacey and I have talked. He always always mentioned how much he missed you and that he couldn't wait until you two were back together again. That gave him joy. He spoke often about his sons, which weighed heavy on his heart, before and especially after Elisa & Marty's Memorial. He seemed to give up at that point. Kept telling me "too much death" and he was "surrounded by death" and it was becoming "too much to bear". But he never showed it, his actions in the game suggested nothing less than the man we all knew and loved.

Cybering? No...not Jildacey. Even I flirted with him, knowing he was a safe bet that he wouldn't take things literally. He was a good man, and he always found a way to share that with others. When I first met him was through the After Hours Raiding alliance (AH). I remember it was one of the nights I wasn't doing so well, and he sent me a tell saying I was "doing great". He was ALWAYS encouraging. No matter how he felt, he would not pass that on to others, instead he used it to push others (gently) to their best.

While I was doing Marty & Elisa's Memorial, he was there constantly sending me tells comforting me because I was very very nervous and didnt want to do anything that would be disrespectful. He helped me through that night like a good friend does. And since then, I saw him losing sight of who he was. Yes he was depressed, and I tried talking him through it. I should have tried harder.

He asked me to make his "Sig", stating "It will be interesting to see how you see me". Let me tell you that was one of the hardest sigs I ever had to make. His character was female, (which right there tells you he was not interested in cybering, otherwise he would have remained male) but in real life he was a man. How do you represent him in one little image knowing so much about him beyond the game? In the end, I stayed with the character he was in game, and chose to leave his real life as a mystery to those that didnt know him as well.

I am so sorry for your loss dear...i know it must be very hard to lose someone so good-hearted and loving as he was. Yea, he may have had an addiction to EQ, but I see that as better than having an addiction in real life that could have been much worse. For what it is worth...I loved your husband and still do. We all did. He was truly one of the best of the best.

If you ever need anything, a shoulder to cry on, even if it is someone to scream at, etc...I am here for you and I will help you through this.

-Daura

PS..I will be posting the poetry I read at his memorial, probably a little later today.
Back to top Go down

Guest
Guest


Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeThu Mar 29, 2012 11:03 am

Thank you for your words, Daura, and for being Mark's friend. I am in tears reading your post but the tears are mixed happy (that he had you to talk to when he needed it most) and sad (that he is gone for both/all of us). That depth, that core of kindness and caring was what I fell in love with when I met him - they shone through his blue eyes and smile. And I miss his voice - I loved it so. I miss hearing him tell me he loved me and being able to tell him that I loved him too. I hoped love would keep him alive till he found his way back to life. I am sure your friendship love helped so much too.

I hung in there 10 years, not always easy ones because there was also a tortured soul there, particularly after we went through the death of his 2nd son, till he finally woke up and married me. April 9th would have been our 6th anniversary - and I was going to be here with him for that.

I would not have hung around long enough to marry him if I did not love him at such a deep level. You may have been more patient with him than I was at times - so I am so thankful he had friends to confide in - somewhere to go when even I was not as understanding as I could have been. He married the right woman for him but none of us is perfect, especially in the moment, and none of us can ever be enough to save a tortured soul who cannot quite get his own grasp on that rope to pull himself out.

He always had me and he knew it, even at the darkest moments, but sometimes it is easier to talk to relative outsiders, who don't deal directly with your daily life. Thank you for being his friend. I was always hoping and telling him to get 'help' for his grief. I felt so helpless sometimes even though we would talk endlessly when he was not playing. I tried to help him find and work through all the tragedies in his life that he had internalized. He should have borne no guilt for what happened to his kids - but he did - he took on all the guilt and it was so hard to watch and know from my side of the street. I would have done anything to lift that burden from his shoulder - and I tried. And sometimes I thought he was making progress. Even at the end, I think he was trying hard to come back to real life, back from where he hid himself to avoid the real world. He just was too stubborn or too sick to call for that help when he really needed it. And, though I refuse to perpetuate the torture of his grief in mine for him, I do feel awful that this one time my usually great intuition did not kick in and get me to call someone for him. I just didn't know it was as bad as it was or I would have - believe me. I do wish too that I had known what happened to Marty and Elisa and their son because, looking back now, I can see that was a horrible turning point - I knew there was something completely out of control from then on but I had never seen him that bad and was not there to hold him - at the one time I should have been. That will take me a long time to forgive myself for. I told him several times I would leave up north and be back to him in a flash if he needed me - but, he would tell me to stay a bit longer and finish what I was doing. Sad I could not 'know' but I should have 'known'.

I am sorry .. I am talking too much here. We were pretty private people and he had little family left, as do I so I can only talk to myself - and answer myself - now that he is not here to talk to. I am a 'talker' so it is what I need to do right now, even though the tears are streaming down my face as I do. And, suddenly, I too feel among 'friends'. He always talked so highly of Grey Horizons, and felt accepted with you. I just can't thank you all enough for caring about him. Mark needed friends as well as me - and I am so glad he had you all, especially those of you who spent a lot of time really getting to know him and who he was at his core.
Back to top Go down
Ellmadar
Ellmadar
Member
Member

Posts : 145
Join date : 2012-02-15
Age : 60
Location : My computer

Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeThu Mar 29, 2012 11:10 am

Kyasma feel free to talk to us as much as you like , we saw Jil(Mark) from one side by reading your post we see the otherside and it fills out the person we came to care about. You are as much a part of our family as Jil is and we dont want to lose touch.
Back to top Go down
Daura
Daura
Member
Member

Posts : 401
Join date : 2012-02-15

Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeThu Mar 29, 2012 4:17 pm

I must agree with Ellmadar. Just because Mark was a part of us, does not mean you weren't, because you were. He talked about you a lot in our conversations. He loved you deeply, and would never do anything intentionally to hurt you.

You must not blame yourself for this..it was just his time to go. And like it or not, we all have to accept this, and move on. Ive cried many tears for him, because he was not only my friend, but the truest form of human being Ive ever found. He was patient, he was kind, he was never judgmental or cruel. You were the perfect match for him and he said so. He couldn't wait for you to be home again, but he knew how important this was to you. And not all my tears are of pain from missing him...I find myself tearing up just knowing he is whole again, with his son's, and free from all pain, disease and worry.

I hope you will log into the game once in a while, talk to us, any of us...let us guide you through this terrible time in your life.

And yes..it was a friendship love I felt for him, just as I feel for every single person in Grey Horizon.

My father in law went pretty much the same way, so I know where you are coming from. He was in his 60's...taking his meds with booze. He'd already been through the wringer with the doctors. In fact the doctors told him almost 30 years ago to go home and get his affairs in order. A triple bypass later, and he was ok again. So we were blessed with many more years with him. I only had the honor of knowing him for four years, but in that four years, I learned what a father was "supposed" to be like, what "family bonds" were...things I didnt have growing up. He would always make this one face, kinda like the duck-face and you knew he was thinking "Well shoot...I didnt mean to do that". The day he passed away, he had asked my mother inlaw for a soda, instead of a margerita to take his meds with. Twenty minutes later, he was asleep. And I can just see him doing that face and saying "Well Shoot...I didnt mean to do that"...

At his funeral...which was only immediate family....I happened to be looking up while they were saying the final prayer....I saw a flock of birds fly overhead...large birds (maybe geese?)...and just as they reached us, one split off and flew its own direction, and for as long as I could see then, that one never re-joined the flock....I took it as a sign that he was ok, and everything would be good again.

Take some comfort in our words...and our stories about Mark. He has left his legacy behind for all of us to follow...

/hugs sweetheart....everything is going to be ok in time.

-Daura
Back to top Go down

Guest
Guest


Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeFri Mar 30, 2012 11:15 am

Thank you, Daura.

I do hope tears are as cathartic as most think they are. I certainly am generating a lot, especially when I read your posts, Daura. lol All the things you say about Mark are true and are both a comfort and cause a deep pain when I know that, as the person closest to him in real life, some things he said to you, he was unable to admit to me some of the depth of what you tell me he felt - and perhaps that was, at times, my fault because I cared so much that he get away from the alcohol so we could have the life together we both wanted and needed, that I was probably not as patient with him as I should have been. All the 'what if's' etc. come flooding at me. And that is hard for me to deal with right now, despite knowing that all I ever wanted to do was love him and have him love me. In my mind, if you have that, you have the possibility of conquering anything. That possibility is now gone forever.

I will be logging on - don't worry. And I do hope to talk to you. I am lately though running on a 'solar clock' I think - my ability to 'focus' seems best in the morning and when the sun goes down, I fade too. I feel as though I am not quite me - I have always been a night hawk, not a morning person. I feel in limbo right now too - despite the fact that I am a 'can do' person for the most part. I make lists and get little done. There is so much to do and right now, though I am usually a mentally organized person, I do feel a bit overwhelmed by the monumental number of tasks I should attack ... alone. That last is the hard part right now, even though I am a strong and independent person .. just losing the possibility of Mark's help is messing with my head.

I have though put many of you on my friends' list but I do hate to interrupt when I see everyone in some place I gather you are raiding. I talked to Shayden the other night but I don't know how busy people are - or how easy each person finds it to communicate in tells when actively fighting too. And the last darned thing you need is for me to cry on your shoulders in game when you raiding, imho.

But, EQ is also in my blood - has been since I began playing right after beta. I just didn't 'play' the same way as Mark did, nor for the same reasons. As long as this game lasts, I will surface, at least from time to time. And when it ends, I will still probably only be level 42 while everyone else is level 205. lol

I cannot keep posting here like this (despite everyone's kind invitation to do so) - this is not a Dear Abby column or a grief relief forum - lol - and it is a bit too public for my liking - for this kind of discussion - and not 'guild business' per se. We will talk when we can in game but feel free to tell me to get lost if I am a nuisance at any time. I just can't say enough though how much your caring has meant to me during this hard time. Thank you ALL so very much. I know Mark is so very proud of you all - what wonderful people. He was always right about you. (p.s. He would be thrilled to know that I admit that, btw! Smile ) And I am so very glad he found some of you to confide in. Perhaps sometime I will tell you a bit more of my past experience with 'online people' - and you may understand why I was always a bit reticent about getting close to those I had not met in real life, even though I know there are really good people out there I/we would mesh with beautifully. Suffice it to say that my last husband (before Mark) was into IRC when it was at its beginning ... and he divorced me for someone he met online through that medium. And after that I also, because I am a very compassionate person, got roped into too many situations online with people who sensed my capacity to 'care' and used it for their own purposes - so I wasn't too enthusiastic about getting to really 'know' people online.

Arghhh again I have talked too much. Bye for now. See you in game. <<< HUGS >>> and thanks again.
Back to top Go down

Guest
Guest


Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitimeSat Mar 31, 2012 12:10 pm

Uploaded a couple of pictures of the real life Jildacey (Mark) to the gallery. These were not recent but he had not changed too much since they were taken, except that, when he passed away, his beard was a bit neater and fuller. Messed up the captions a bit but you, I hope, can get the 'picture'. Not exactly what you might imagine a female Barb 'zerker to look like. lol He was a lot better looking than me though.

The eyes and the smile captured my heart over 15 years ago. And he gave the best hugs in the world. His voice ... gosh, how I will miss that. It was so 'sexy', imho.
Back to top Go down

Sponsored content



Jildacey's everquest memorial Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jildacey's everquest memorial   Jildacey's everquest memorial Icon_minitime

Back to top Go down
 

Jildacey's everquest memorial

View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 2Go to page : 1, 2  Next

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Welcome to the home of Grey Horizon :: Grey Horizon - Information :: General Chit-Chat-